Our Little Guy

Mason George Aamot arrived into this world at 3:08pm on a beautiful Wednesday afternoon September 10, 2014.

The last few weeks of pregnancy were spent having prodromal labor, meaning I was going in and out of labor. I was dilated and effaced and my body was doing its best to get things going. Mason however, was not quite ready. I had many doctors visits that left me feeling like I was going to just give birth at home. I was too early to be induced, but I knew my body was not going to get me there without some help. Finally after work on September 9 I met with Dr. Dowling who checked me and was shocked to find I was dilated to a 6. Most women are in the hospital by this point and she was surprised to hear I was still working and going about my usual business. She scheduled an induction for the following morning. I left the office with my heart pounding and my head spinning. I called Kyle to tell him, then headed to the grocery store to stalk up. I pushed the buggy around panicking with every tightening wave over my stomach, because even though I had felt them for weeks I knew this was the end. I would soon be a mom, and Kyle a dad.

I got home to find our mud room sprayed with unspeakable body fluids from our dogs. That's a whole other story, but long story short Kyle had thought it was funny they were eating things from our garden…he fed them a little too much. I could only milk being pregnant for a few more hours and so I took a picture with my phone, sent it to Kyle, and stepped over it and into the house. Picture a 38 week pregnant woman playing hot lava monster…only the lava was poop…and vomit.

We packed up the car. I don't remember now how we spent our very last night just us. Funny looking back I wish we had made a memory of it. You don't realize it's the last time you'll have that time until it's gone. It seems fleeting now, all four years of being just us. In the morning we woke up at 6am and called the hospital to check for a bed. Being a full moon the night before I guess a lot of women gave birth so we were told to call back. Kyle enjoyed a bowl of lucky charms. I refused to eat because I wasn't about to puke while giving birth. We called back again and were told to head in. I hadn't been that shaky or full of adrenaline since our wedding day. Fitting since these are the two days I love most.

We arrived and the nurse told me I looked like a deer in headlights. I replied flatly "well I have to push a human out my lady tunnel." They asked what number child this was for us and we said our first. She seemed confused and let us know coming in this far dilated and effaced doesn't happen often at all with a first…but most of what happened seems pretty lucky now. Around 10am I was dilated to a 7 and the doctor broke my water. You are choosing to continue this read so I'm not apologetic…it gushed. Like gallons of hot water pouring out. I tried to tell the nurse I was peeing the bed after about an hour of this because I couldn't believe there was that much liquid inside me. Around noon I chose to get a "dangerous epidural". We thought the nurses were going to high five us. They were all for it and even though the pain was doable I wanted it to be as comfortable as the whole giving birth experience could be. The epidural was insane. Did you know it goes up your spine?! I didn't and I felt it because the numbing didn't quite work. Kyle came two hot seconds from passing out which gave me a much needed laugh. I was hunched on the side of the bed with a giant needle up my spine when I finally felt a "contraction". Not to sound like a tough guy but through all this time contractions were not what I thought they would be. It was uncomfortable yes, painful not really. Cramps though, those are excruciating. I would rather give birth once a month than have cramps. So anyway, I sat there with my body shaking and tightening and a man trying to give me the epidural.

After he was done I took a two hour nap. Kyle went out to visit with his mom in the waiting room. I woke up to an epidural that had stopped working on my left side and was only half working on my right. I asked the nurse for a flipping popsicle finally because I was starving. I started getting stronger tightening feelings and I asked Kyle if he could come back in the room. Kyle came in and watched the machine and told me when the contractions were peaking so I could see the end of one in sight before the next began. I heard a lot of "this one's huge" and "This is the biggest one yet". He was amazing. The nurse finally came back with my popsicle. I did have tears streaming down my face but to be honest it was more out of fear of what I knew was happening in a matter of time. We were told it would still be several more hours, but then the nurse checked me just before 3pm. She checked me, looked up at Kyle and said "uh the baby is right there". She was holding up a finger and marking her first knuckle. She told me to give a practice push. I started to push and she quickly yelled stop and ran and got the doctor. Dr. Dowling came in and checked me and did the same thing. Once again I started to push and her face looked shocked as she said stop. In a hurry they got everything around us ready. They told me to push during the next contraction. We were all staring at each other and I thought I was waiting for the next one when they informed me what I was feeling WAS a contraction. I assumed it would hurt more I guess. More than just tightening. Four pushes, 8 minutes of labor and Mason George Aamot entered this world.

7lbs and 20 inches long. Tiny perfection. He army crawled up to nuzzle in my neck and that was it. I was overwhelmingly in love with this person I didn't even know yet. Funny how he knew exactly who I was and that all he wanted was to be as close to me as he possibly could be.

All at Once

I'm quickly approaching 36 weeks of pregnancy. Assuming our little man comes on his due date we have about four weeks until our world is forever changed. It's funny how something can be so completely terrifying and exciting all at once.

When I told Kyle I was nervous, but so happy. I was mostly nervous for the reality of it to sink in. The first 20 weeks were spent battling meat aversion, nausea, and a huge loss of appetite. Somewhere around that time many of those things subsided. I was able to continue working through the end of the school year without feeling any large lack of energy at the end of the day. During the beginning of the third trimester I experienced unrelenting itchiness and some nausea returning. I wish I had embraced the last 36 weeks more, but to be honest it was no walk in the park. Most of the time I felt fat…it really could have passed as me picking up binge drinking or filming my own spin-off of supersize me and stopping at all the local golden arches. People said "you barely look pregnant" or the worst was "I couldn't even tell"…oh thanks so I normally look this huge to you? Luckily I had a couple fantastic friends going through all of this with me. My favorite phone call was "pregnancy is so rude." It's true. It's so rude. Don't let those motherhood maternity models fool you.

Beyond the sickness and rudeness and body disfigurement brought on by pregnancy, is something beautiful. My body is being used by God to create this tiny little human. I feel him kick, and spin, and dance, and take in his little world right in the center of mine.  I feel him and realize there are so many women who would do anything to have morning sickness and stretch marks, because those things would mean they have a life stirring in them. A year ago I was trying to convince myself it wasn't in the cards for us. We would travel and get to spend our money, be selfish and have one giant adventure. I was trying to convince myself that would be enough.

I didn't know then it would be my last summer just Kyle and I. We could drink mojitos with fresh ingredients from the garden. I could open a bottle of wine and finish it if I wanted to…and let's be real what is leftover wine anyway? I know our son is not here quite yet, but he is here. He has already changed our lives so much. We tightened our budget and finished paying off ALL of our student loans. We stayed in more and attempted to embrace our new found green thumbs. We changed our house around to make a nursery fit better. I nested. We slowly prepared for the day we will meet him.

Under all that change and nesting there is a sense of panic setting in though. Don't get me wrong, I'm still excited and I know so many of my fears won't matter after the minute I see him and hold him. Panic has set in about life after baby mostly. I have had Kyle to myself for seven and a half years. Though the grand gestures and thoroughly thought out and planned dates have dwindled over those years he is my other half. I cannot even explain the way I love Kyle. Then I think about couples like my parents and sweet godparents and cannot even fathom how incredible that love must be after 50 years. Starting a family means sharing my world and everyone in it. I don't get to make decisions as easily. They are no longer only effecting me. I can't be selfish. I don't get my old life back. I can't take off on a crazy adventure with Kyle. We can't just jump in the car and go…we will need a whole load of things because a small human is depending on us. We have to keep someone alive. That is terrifying. Terrifying and exciting all at once.

Ready or not…

Seven

     This week marked seven months of being pregnant. I would love to say I love being pregnant, but honestly pregnancy is for the birds. I find myself silently reminding my heart that there are women who would do anything to feel morning sickness, their skin stretching, their ribs and bladder being jabbed and bounced on. I was once one of those women. I prayed and dreamed, and sometimes thought it would never happen. Now that I am pregnant I can't describe how incredible, awful, wonderful, and painful pregnancy is.
    I have a degree that required years of studying prenatal on through the entire lifespan. It doesn't matter how much I studied, no one could prepare me for the experience that pregnancy is. Sure I know terms, diagnoses, symptoms, all things parenting, and generally what to expect, but that is just not the same as living it. I am growing a little human. He loves music and doing somersaults. He gets hiccups, and must think my bladder is pretty fun to kick...
     And then there are the things that no one warns you about. Even before you are "huge" everything is hard and uncomfortable. You can kiss sleep goodbye...yes that's right, before the baby is even born. Some nights a trip to the bathroom is REQUIRED every couple hours. Running is painful, and don't rule out the possibility of it making you pee your pants. Shaving will inevitably become a struggle, and prenatal vitamins may make hair (that's not on your head) grow faster too. Morning sickness can last longer than a few weeks, and if you're like me, it will be all day every day for half of your pregnancy. You know those cravings you're suppose to get? Kyle gets them for me. I have yet to experience one really *except wine, but that's not a possibility so we won't count that. Your nose may gain superhuman powers...which means a lot of things have the potential to make you nauseous. There's a little thing some women experience called meat aversion during pregnancy. I had that for the first 20 weeks or so. I could not handle the smell or taste of meat. Every store will have the cutest clothes in the world, and you can bet your beached whale self they won't be attractive on you. Sometimes you will just need a friend to call and complain to because "pregnancy is so rude".
     Although putting up with all the unknowns and crazy body changes is overwhelming at times, in the end I know it will be so worth it.

Four Months

Today is April fools day. I have gotten many fake pregnancy calls or texts on this day over the years. This is no April fools. Just the perfect day for us to announce as we are always oozing sarcasm and quips. For Kyle this new adventure was calculated, over thought, picked apart, and carefully prepared for. For me it has been a prayer that I really didn't think would happen. We have been huge on goals, and trying to make well thought out decisions when it comes to the big things. It hasn't been easy to put traveling, material things, and other wants on hold. We have both made sacrifices and worked so hard to get to where we are, and now we are starting on our biggest adventure yet.

 I am officially four months pregnant. Although I assumed I would have a bump and feel incredibly pregnant by now, that is not the case. Everything about this is still surreal, and I keep waiting for our stubborn peanut to force my stomach into huge mode. This has been a blessing in disguise really, because Kyle and I wanted to tell loved ones on our terms. As fun as it is to have a big announcement at 12 weeks, that wasn't our vision. We both had people we wanted to tell in person, on the phone, or via skype. The reaction from just about everyone was priceless. We felt so loved and supported each time we were able to spill the beans. I think one of my favorite people to tell was Carole Burton. My first boss, and as some know, the woman we give partial credit to our love story. She was the boss that held up the sign "She wants you to kiss her". So in appropriate fashion we knocked on her door holding signs that said "you told me to kiss her!" and "look what happened!" I love that Kyle and I have such incredible, supportive people in our lives.

Hello There

I am writing this because today was a day our lives completely changed. Like all life changing days, we tend to look back and have only small pieces of what happened, and all the joy and emotions we felt. We had been waiting for this day. We even made a list of goals we wanted to reach before it came:

1. Go to Disneyland (May 2008)

2. Go to Mexico (May 2009)

3. Stand in Front of the Grand Canyon TOGETHER. (October 2009)

4. Get Married (July 2010)

5. Be Married for at least two years (we are on our way to 4)

6.Skydive (July 2011)

7. Bungee Jump (July 2012)

8. Finish College (May & December 2012)

9. Start our careers (2013: Engineer and Teacher)

10. Pay off our loans (We payed off $40k in one year) June 2014 WE DID IT!!!!!

11. Buy our first home (July 2013)

12. Always go on Adventures (See above)

Most of the things on this list we wrote in a scrapbook in 2007, which seems like ancient history. Some we made along the way though. We knew we wanted to accomplish big things, and be really ready...as ready as we could be. We waited because we had amazing examples in our lives of what it looked like to make and reach goals. So we made them, and then we met them. And then we made new ones. Tonight I introduced Kyle to the name he will have the privilege of going by: DAD. He cried, I laughed...the usual responses for us in the midst of life changing moments. I was too overwhelmed to do anything else. Kyle said "Are you serious?!" about ten times, until I finally said "YES!" Jaylin caught this all on video. It was nothing over the top, but still one of the most life changing moments. I told Kyle several days before I had a feeling. I can't explain it, I just knew (and maybe a pickle craving helped a little). So of course being Bachelor Monday Jaylin convinced me to see if that little line would show. I said hello to you, even though you are really only the size of a sesame seed or some impossible thing. You are going to be our biggest adventure yet.

13. Hold our baby for the first time